The End
by Natalia2
Summary: Kathryn remembers her past and lives out the consequences of her actions, with one equally surprising conclusion.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

If love is a choice, if we are in control and it is our choice to love, than I have chosen not to love. I can feel my heart in my chest but it is just a mechanism that keeps me alive, it is not an object to feel.

I sit motionless in front of the window, the sun light that penetrates through the glass does little to warm me up. I am cold, dead inside, what little warmth that I had once possessed died long before I let myself feel anything.

I glance down at the journal on my lap. How had this one insignificant object come to be the downfall of my existence? It's a parting gift I suppose from someone who came close to penetrating my walls.

Yes, I admit it, I had almost allowed my dead heart to feel but he stopped it before it come to a complete act. He chose to love, he just chose not to love me. I smile, feeling a tightness in my chest. My mother raises an eye brow at my sudden expression. "You find this amusing?" She spits out her eyes tighten with rage, "I suppose ruining the family name, and disgracing yourself is hilarious"

I feel my smile widen, my dead eyes meeting hers. If I had anyone to blame for who I was, it was her, my dear mother who always pushed me to be perfect and yet showed me as much love as a person gives a growing tumor.

Yet I don't dwell in the past, what's the point in thinking of it when it will not fix anything. He's gone and what little light was left in me went down to the bit of hell where I am sure he now dwells in.

The car stops, my mother quickly steps out, wordlessly I follow. I take in the sight of the brick walls that make the building of my new dwelling. So this was where I am to be imprisoned. I read the golden letter in the front. _FAITHHILLS. _An institution for insane people, like me. I feel a cold shudder run down my back and yet I remain emotionless.

Introductions are quickly made as papers are signed and we are led through the white sparkling halls that lead to my new room. The nurse opens the door and pushes it wide open before stepping back to allow us to step in.

My mother turns her attention to me, acting every bit the part of a loving mother she pulls me into a hug, she makes a grand spectacle of love. As she pulls back, with watery eyes, she places two gentle kisses on both my cheeks. She then turns me around with her hands and gently pushes me inside, as the nurse quickly shuts the door behind me. As if afraid that I will make a run for it but I keep my back to the door, as I hear my mother's retreating steps down the quiet halls.

Blank walls surround me, I feel my chest tighten and yet I remain quite. I could scream, kick, and cry but the only part of me that shakes are my hands. I walk to the single solid white bed in the room. I sit on the hard surface and stare at the closed door. My hands continue to shake, the tightness in my chest becomes almost painful. I close my eyes, and think of one thing. _Sebastian._

* * *

I was five when I met him, he was eight. I clearly remember his blond curls, mischief smile but most of all I remember his bright blue eyes. Those eyes held far more intelligence in them then any eight year old boy should ever possess. I froze when his eyes met mine, I felt his gaze penetrate through me, and it felt as if the deepest depth of my soul was invaded by him. He stepped forward and took my hand in his, pulling me behind him as he led us out of the house away from our parents.

As soon as we were out of sight his smile faded and he flung my hand out of his. "I am not a babysitter, so you stay out of my way and I will stay out of yours." He said as he took off running towards the back woods that outlined the property of his home.

I stood stunned at his sudden departure, suddenly feeling alone. Our parents had specifically told him to play with me and here I was left alone in the yard. I felt rage at the mistreatment and followed the path that led to the forest.

If he was going to abandon me then I would make him regret it. I wandered deep into the forest, my eyes taking in the tall trees, the countless of birds, I felt a sudden thrill at the prospect of exploring something new, unknown. My life thus far had been a very sheltered one, but most of all I had been over protected by my devoted father.

I was so consumed in my exploration that I forgot to keep to the path, my fascination with a group of butterflies had led me to wonder deep into the forest. Only when I noticed the light grown dim around me that I realized that it was getting late.

I looked around trying to remember where I had walked from. Darkness was quickly wrapping around me as the tall trees blacked out the setting sun. I kept walking hoping to meet the path leading back to the house.

I was lost, I felt panic grow in me as darkness settled in. I grew tired of walking and cold. I huddled under a tall tree, my tears running down my face as I cried. I heard strange noises around me, what once thought to be fascinating now seemed frightening. I huddles closer to the trunk of the tree, gathering my legs closer to my chest for warmth.

I knew that my dad would come looking for me, I just had to stay warm, stay safe. I tried to remain still frightened at the thought of attracting attention to myself, afraid that something would find me and eat me alive, my body remained motionless, just my hands, my hands shook from fright, as I strained to hear any signs of my dad.

I closed my eyes shut willing myself to remain silent as I willed my dad to find me. I heard a trig snap, my eyes opened to see something approaching, it was a small figure, then I heard it, "Kathryn!" it was him, the boy that had abandoned me. I unlocked my arms from my knees and pushed myself forward running toward him.

I followed his voice as he kept calling, I ran as fast as I could frightened to be left alone again. I reached him and immediately flung myself into his arms, startling him as he dropped his flashlight.

He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly to him. "it's ok," he mumbled patting my back, comforting me. "I got her!" he yelled over my shaking frame, as I realized the other people around drawing closer to us. As soon as I saw my father, I untangled myself from his arms and ran to my father's waiting arms.

"Oh. Thanks heavens you are ok" He said, placing kisses on my head, his arms holding me tightly in his arms. "Are you ok sweetheart?" He pulled me back examining me from head to toe.

"Is she ok?" A tall man asked, who I immediately recognized as the boy's father.

"She's fine" My father replied gathering me back into his arms. "we best be heading home now" my father replied as he began heading towards the house, as I looked back to see the young boy forcefully pulled forward by his arms and yelled at by his father. I let a small smile reach my lips as I thought, that would be the last time anyone would ask Sebastian to babysit.

* * *

I woke to silence, my eyes adjusting to the dark. I sat up on my small bed. A week, I had been trapped in this room for a week and I have yet to say a word, not one sound. I have not spoken since he died. Not a single sound was uttered as the doctors pronounced him dead.

I held my head in my hands, trying to recall the dream that had woken me, I was about to lay back down when I noticed a shadow move. My heart beat quickened as I realized that I was not alone in the room.

A flashlight clicked on startling me. Frozen I watched in horror as the light moved upward to illuminate the face so well known to me that I would recognize it anywhere. Maybe I have gone mad cause right before me stood my dead step brother _Sebastian._

_-TO BE CONTINUED _


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for your comment Vanessa, I totally agree, there should be more stories and hopefully more people will show interest. Thanks for your review and hope you enjoy chapter two : )**

**Chapter Two**

I felt my hands begin to shake, as I drew my legs to my chest. What exactly are they giving me? Or had I finally snapped and started to hallucinate. My chest tightened as he drew near to the foot of the bed. I remain huddled, only my eyes following his figure now illuminated by the light coming from the small window of my room. He lets out a chuckle in amusement, "Christ look at you. So this is what became of the great and mighty Kathryn." He said with disdain in his voice.

I tighten my grip on my knees, willing my hands to stop shaking. I suppose it was only a matter of time before I began to imagine him. Not once since his death had I not thought of him. It's only logical that I would now conjure him up as my personal tormentor.

"What's the matter Kathryn? Where is your great wit and power?" He is now standing next to me leaning in closer to me, his smug smile in place as his eyes twinkle with scorn. "How the mighty fall, look at you. I would find this hilarious if you didn't look so pitiful."

I close my eyes willing for him to go, to leave me, to stop his cruel words. I didn't need a mirror to know that I looked pathetic. I was far from what I once was and nobody would be better fit to torment me with the truth then him.

"Did you think you would get away with it?" He hissed, "Did you enjoy tormenting me all those years only to see me die at your hand?"

My chest tightened, as I shook with the force of holding myself from crying, from screaming.

"Was it worth it Kathryn?" He whispers into my ear as he pulls back and walks out of the room. Leaving me huddled in the dark alone.

* * *

I was eight when my world shattered. I stood motionless as they lowered the casket into the deep, dark hole in the ground. My mother's cries carries through the quiet crowd. I remain still, my hand shakes as I throw a single rose into the lowering coffin.

I remain silent as people share their condolences with us. I can't help but notice their dry eyes all full of pity for me, but little did they care about the man who was dead. Why should they care? They knew very little about him except that he was a great business man, none of them knew the kind hearted man that he was. None of them experienced his hugs, his loving kisses, and his carefree laugh.

He had been a light in my life and now that light was slowly diminishing into darkness. My mother wasted no time in drawing all attention to herself as she swooned and cried. I slipped away from the crowd, heading inside the now silent house. All our servants were outside in the gardens attending to the guests.

I walked numbly to his office, the only room in the house that my mother never dared set foot in. As soon as I opened the doors, his scent hits me. My father had one vise and that were his cigars. My mother hated the odour but I always welcomed it, it was just another part of him, part of the man that loved me. I took in a deep breath, feeling comfort in the familiar scent. "You're not going to start crying are you, cause if you are please let me leave the room first, I despise such show of weakness."

My eyes snap open and are met with cold blue eyes. He sat on my father's chair behind the grand oak desk, his lips smirking as he took a pull on the cigar in his hand. He lets out a ring of smoke as he smiles. "The man had taste, I'll give him that."

I felt rage swell in me but I calmly walked towards him. Leaning over the desk I take in his appearance, he was older now, his lean body fitting the Armani suit very well but his eyes still held the same mischief glean in them. Taking the cigar from his hand, I take a pull of it, my lungs burning with the new sensation, but I hold it in and slowly release the smoke. My eyes fixed on his.

"You're lucky you know that." He said breaking my gaze, as he stands up from the chair and walks around the desk, placing his hands casually in his pocket. He is now eleven years old yet he carries himself like a man that has it all figured out. His confidence surpassing his age.

"How's that?" I reply leaning back against the edge of the desk, bring the cigar back to my mouth and taking another pull despite the ache in my lugs.

He smirks, standing before me. He's grown taller since I last saw him in the forest. He takes the cigar from my hand and takes a pull, his eyes locked with mine. "I would give anything to have my father gone."

I raise an eyebrow at that and push myself away from the desk, walking around it, I take my place on the seat that had once been occupied by my father. I push the anguish that begins to rise in me. I swing the chair around, not wanting him to see my moment of weakness, I face the window leading to the garden, clearly seeing the crowd of people mingling among themselves. "I would give anything to have my mother take his place." I replied disdain lingering in my voice.

He lets out a chuckle leaning against the back of the chair. He was about to reply when I heard a familiar voice from outside the office doors. Quickly I swung back round almost knocking into him as I pulled us down under to desk.

The door swung open as my mother let out a moan. I placed a hand over Sebastian's mouth signalling him to keep quite. Rolling his eyes at me, he removed my hand and sat down on the floor casually taking a pull of the cigar. Glaring at him I was about to take the cigar away when my mother's heels clicked closer as she drew near the desk. "Wait." She moaned, "Not here." She then retreated out of the room, followed closely by her companion.

I let out a breath, thankful that I would not have to sit through her having sex with a complete stranger. "I am assuming that was your darling mother." Sabastian said sanding up, dusting off his suit. "She seems like a piece of work, not an hour from burying her husband and she's already flopping on her back."

He smothers the cigar butt into the ash tray. "Good luck to you kid, you will need it to survive her."

With those parting words he leaves the room. I sink back into the chair, my eyes falling on a picture on the desk, it was of of my father with a genuine smile on his face, holding me in his arms. Picking up the frame, I traced the picture with my finger, I felt numb.

* * *

It was the same every night he would come back and torment me, remind me of what I once was and what I had become.

His eyes full of disdain, his words scornful and yet I remain silent, unwilling to utter one word in response, afraid of what may come out.

I have accepted that I have become mad, or maybe I am just too weak to fight it. Perhaps being insane is better than living with the truth that he will not come back. Sabastian is dead.

**-TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. Chapter 3

**Special thanks to Eashi Chand, and Pot for your encouraging reviews, you guys make writing this worth while. Lady Rose Bernstein, and Carline Spencer, I am a big fan of your work and would like to thank you for your support. Now let's continue. **

**Chapter Three**

I wake with a start, I know that he is here. I sit up in bed, my knees drawn up close to my chest. I wait, I wait to hear him talk, I wait to hear his voice but it doesn't come. He remains silent as his hard eyes remain on me. He stands at the foot of the bed, dressed in a suit. His blond curls unkempt, his eyes red with lack of sleep and yet he looked breath taking. He is handsome, he had always been handsome, but what has always drawn me to him are his eyes. Deep blue eyes full of endless wisdom and a touch of wickedness.

Had I been someone else perhaps that would have been enough, perhaps I would not have had the need to control him, to possess him. Maybe then it would have been me that he would have fallen in love with.

I push that thought away, it did little good now, what is done is done and he paid the consequence for it. Perhaps it wasn't fair but it is the truth.

He doesn't speak just stares at me. I feel my hands begin to shake, having his eyes penetrate trough me is worse than any hateful words that he has uttered. I pull my knees closer to my chest, my eyes gazing down hard at the white sheets around me. I refuse to meet his gaze. Why wasn't he speaking? Was this some new way of torture?

I sense him stepping closer, I begin to rock, still hugging my knees tightly to my chest. My heart pounds as I feel him draw closer. I glance at him as he reaches out a hand to touch me.

I scramble away from him, I feel panic bubbling inside of me. I struggle to stand, keeping my distance from him.

"It's me Kathryn." He urges, "Say something. Tell me to go to hell. For God's sake say something"

I shake my head, my hands trembling. He's not real. He is not real. HE IS NOT REAL!

* * *

I was fourteen when I saw Sebastian again. After the funeral my mother wasted no time in remarrying. My new step dad wasn't half bad, he was kind to me and mostly indifferent to my actions. He knew little to nothing about me and yet he provided me with anything that I wanted no questions asked.

In fact I felt a little sorry for him, and wondered how a decent man like him ended up with a soul sucking wife like my mom, but perhaps that was what attracted them to her, perhaps that is what drew my dad to her, the need to save her.

My mother was a good an actress as any, she had her ways of trapping men under her power, and she showed little if any remorse for the pain and destruction that she cost. My new step dad had been happily married before she came along. Poor fool, the misery that he now lives in is not worth the pleasure that he once received.

I keep silent as my mother rambles on about the latest gossip. My mother insist that we all eat dinner together, claiming it to be uncivil for us not to eat as a family but in fact it was her way of maintaining control on both of us. I glance at my step father, who is busy reading the newspaper clearly ignoring my mothers' chatter. "How's the campaign coming along Kathryn?" She asks, snapping my attention back to her.

At my mother's constant pestering I was forced to take on role of class president, which entitled many extra curriculum, including a campaign to reach out and help the less fortunate. It was a pain in the ass but all my mother saw was an opportunity to brag to her friends of the many accomplishments of her daughter, a form of herself.

I took a drink of water, and smiled sweetly "It's coming along well mother, thank you for asking."

It was the answer that she was expecting, anything less would have brought on a slap and a few well-chosen threats. Mother always knew were to hit her targets. I was relieved once her focus turned to her husband. Poor bastard, but after being married to her for six years he knew how to avoid her constant demands.

Not soon enough we were dismissed from the dining room but not before mother started screaming at something my step dad had done or forgotten to do. I quickly made my escape, quickly making my way out of the house and into the safety of the limo.

With a sigh of relief I relaxed, allowing my guard down.

It was dark by the time I reached Blaine's house, already the house was packed with guests, most of them already drunk, drugged and half naked. Blaine's parties were always the best, and it was exactly what I needed to let loose.

I was safe here since everyone was three to four years older than me, there were none of the little school sheep that would recognize me and thus my reputation would be kept intact.

I ignored the lustful glances that I receive from guys as I made my way to the stairs leading up to the master bedroom where I knew I would find the host. Blaine never questioned my presents, ours was a relationship of give and take. I provided him with a good sum of money and he provided me with a much needed release in the form of liquor and white powder.

As expected he was in his room, but not alone. I smirked as I heard moans coming from the room, deciding to wait it out I made my way to the room next door. It was his office, which he never let any of the party goers in but he let me use it when we made our exchanges. Stepping into the silent room I made my way to the bar, pouring myself a well needed drink.

I savored the taste of it as I felt my body already felling relaxed. "Should you be drinking that?" a deep voice asked startling me.

I tuned and was met with a set of amused blue eyes. "We meet again duchess."

At seventeen Sebastian was now a true formed Greek god, from his broad shoulders, to his strong chin, sky blue eyes and soft curls. He was every woman's wet dream and more. I had heard from one of my mother's dim-witted friends that he had been kicked out of countless of private institutions and was to finish school at Manchester.

I smile as I polish off my drink. "The pleasure is all mine." I reply letting my eyes slowly take in his appearance from bottom up, lingering at his med section before meeting his eyes. I smirk allowing my approval reflect.

His eyes return the favor as he runs them down my body. At fourteen I am anything but innocent, in fact I am now well experienced and know how to use my body to my advantage. Stepping closer to him I smile as his eyes shift to my swaying hips as I drew closer.

I stop mere inches away from him. Reaching out I let my hand caresses his face, locking gaze with him. His hands moves to rest on the curve of my hips. I lean into him, allowing my body to softly press against his hard lean form. I feel the growing affect that I am having on him, as my face tilts to the side, my lips hovering under his, even in six inch shoes he still towers over me and yet he resists the desire of closing the gap.

He holds back unwilling to break first. I grow impatient at the game and pull back. Sebastian is smart enough to know that if he caved in to his desire for me he would be silently declaring defeat. It was a game for us, a game that had wordlessly began without any need to acknowledge it with words.

I turn to pour myself another drink. Ignoring the need in my body to pull him close again. He walked back to his seat near the open window. "I am assuming this is not your first time attending one of Blaine's get together." He declares more then asks.

I take the seat across from him, allowing his eyes to run up my exposed legs as I cross them. "You could say that."

"Won't mommy dearest freak out if she learned her precious daughter was mingling in such wicked company and doing ungodly things."

I smiled, "who's to tell her what I do?" I question him, "You? I don't think anything that comes out of your mouth is worth believing, not when you have a reputation of a harlot."

He lets out a laugh at that, his face taking on an expression of a boy who has little care in the world. The sight makes my heart long for something, something unknown. I take a big gulp of my drink allowing the bitter taste to chase away the feeling.

He notices my stern face, "How is your whore of a mother?"

"Busy sucking the life out of my stepfather." I reply, standing up to face the window.

"Yes, I heard of your mother's good fortune, I assume this has not tamed her from her escapades."

I flinched at the fact that he knew of my mother's indiscretions. It was dangerous to have someone like him know that small information. It gave him a leg up on me and it didn't' help that I knew for a fact that his mother was a honest woman who never fooled round behind her husband's back. Unlike my mother, she kept to her married bed which is far more then could be said about her husband.

Sebastian clearly took after his father, from his piercing blue eyes to his reputation with women. But society cared very little about a man's reputation, it was women who were scorned when found in bed with other married men.

Perhaps Sebastian would never use that information against me but it was there all the same for him to use. I remain silent calculating, always planning, never allowing my guard down. I was saved from any further discussion by the sudden appearance of Blaine.

He smiled at the sight of us, "am I interrupting something?"

I rolled my eyes as I grabbed his hand and led him into his now vacant room, determined to get what I needed before any further interruptions were made. I never looked back at Sebastian and I didn't see him again for the rest of the night.

* * *

My hands won't stop trembling. I force them into fists. "Kathryn listen to me," he says careful not to touch me, yet slowly drawing closer, "You have to snap out of this."

I frown at that, he sounded like the therapist that daily tells me to express my pain, to speak and share my thoughts. My lips suddenly feel very dry as I run a shaking hand through my hair. When had I lost control of my hallucinations, or was I ever in control of them?

"Kathryn?" He stops advancing towards me, "I am not a hallucination. I am real. I am alive."

I shake my head, pulling further away from him. He reaches out again and takes hold of my shaking hands. I let out a scream, I scream and can't stop screaming. I push him away, desperate to get away from his reach.

Nurses barge into the room. They pin me down, I kick and scream, then I feel it, darkness pulls me down as I drift into bliss.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. Chapter 4

**Special thanks to everyone who took the time to review. Please note that this story will be different with the movie plot but it's still the same with the bet just different outcomes. I hope you enjoy…**

**Chapter Four**

I wake, my body feels heavy, struggling to clear my vision, and slowly opened my eyes. Light coming from the window blinds me, as I push myself up, sheets fall around me. I hate the feel of the gown, after a decade of wearing only fine silk to bed, cotton feels like sandpaper against my skin.

Fuck my head hurts, I struggle to stay up. I should really get up before the nurses came around and start bothering me with their constant pulling and bitching. I long to have them all fired.

Flinging the sheets off I sit at the edge of the bed, my eyes still struggling to remain open, to focus. How much drugs was pumped into me last night? I brace myself before pushing up onto shaky legs.

I feel a cool breeze unlike anything I have experienced since arriving to this hellhole. I struggle to focus my gaze, head pounding.

I shiver as the breeze gets stronger. My eyes begin to focus and I see double doors framed by light. I rub my eyes and see white drapes flowing carelessly against the breeze.

What the hell kind of hallucination is this?

I look around my surroundings and notice that I am not in my room, this room is spacious, luxurious far from the small shitty room that I was given. The pounding in my head continues as I shuffle across the room towards balcony doors. Pushing them further open I block the sun from my eyes.

I let out a gasp as my eyes take in forest, dark, deep forests, outlining the house. I stumble back inside. Panic setting in, shaking my head I struggle to stand up straight. I must still be dreaming or hallucinating.

With determined steps, I force my shaky legs to support me, I make it to the bedroom door, pushing it open, immediately I hear a deep sad melody that I know by heart. I walk towards the sound, pausing at the door frame of the parlour.

There he sat engrossed in his playing, I use to love to watch him play. I would often sit and watch as his hands danced along the keys. Sabastian would always play when he was stressed or bored but this particular melody was reserved for only when he thought of his mother.

He suddenly stops when he sees me, immediately standing up and moves towards me. "Well? Aren't you going to greet your brother?" He asks with an amused smirk on his lips.

I force my gaze away from his and study the room. I know this place, I've been here before

"I know that you can speak. Christ the way you screamed last night was sure proof of that."

I snap my gaze back to him. I want to speak, I want to demand what the hell is going on but that would be acknowledging it. If this was still a hallucination then I was better off not to converse with it for risk of losing all hope of ever regaining my sanity but if by some chance this is real and Sebastian was alive then he had something planned for me. Either way this was not good.

I move to sit down, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Do you remember this place?" He asks taking a seat beside me. He smiles, "I was planning on bringing Annette here."

My pulse raises at the mention of the name, chest tightening. "But thanks to you that won't happen anymore." He rises from the seat and walks towards the window, "I've had a lot of time to think. Think of her, and us. Do you want to know what conclusion I came to?" He asks turning to face me, I remain silent.

"I think it would have been better if we had never met. Perhaps if we had never met we would have lived better lives."

My heart tightened at that. How can he be saying that when the very fact of his absents has left me mute, insane and alone? I stare down at his polished shoes.

* * *

I had just celebrated my sixteenth birthday. Up to this point in my life I was on the sure road to success. My reputation was at an all-time high and I was loved by all my peers. There was just one thing missing, I had to rid myself of my chastity belt. Sure I was experienced in all aspect of sex but not the main event. I was a pro at giving blow jobs, hand jobs, you name it I did it, hell I had even experimented with women but I had never allowed a man to enter me.

Being fifteen and still carrying this small fact was starting to irritate me. In the back of my mind I had secretly placed this ideal man that would be worthy of the job, the problem was that I was too smart to even contemplate that such a man even existed. I knew that I had to just pick a loser and get it over with. Get in, get out. Simple like pulling a loose tooth. Just something that needs to be done. But I couldn't stop this nagging voice that there was someone worthy of the task. I guess it was just a fifteen year old wishful thinking.

I took a deep pull, immediately leaning back into the chair, feeling the rush of ecstasy in my system. Blaine sat across from me, high on who knows what, basking on his own ride. I was so relaxed that I didn't even flinch when the bedroom door burst open.

There he stood proud Sebastian dressed to the T in a sleek black suit. Blaine half-heartedly greeted him before dosing off. I unconsciously straightened up, I don't know what it was about him that made me stand on edge but something in me always made me be on guard whenever he was around.

We had developed a unique acquaintance since he began attending Manchester, of course this didn't mean we spoke and hanging out at school but we did share our adventures with each other when we were alone, or when we met at Blaine's parties. As a result we had a mutual understanding that he kept his mouth shut about me and I provided him with detail information on his latest conquests.

This bizarre relationship benefited both of us, Sebastian needed someone intelligent enough to share his mischievous acts with and I needed someone to be myself with. On the plus side I got a secret thrill in the fact that I was the only person who truly knew how intelligent Sebastian was, perhaps he didn't use his knowledge in school but he sure benefitted from it when it came to his schemes.

"Fuck you're stoned again?" He spat making a face at the drugs scattered on the table. Although he never uttered a word against what we took, he never joined in. In fact he detested the very idea of putting anything in his system that would leave him stoned face. I hated him for that, for once again demonstrating his superiority over me.

He sat beside me, placing a hand on my chin to guide my face to his. I knew that my pupils were dilated, most likely I may even have traces of white powder around my nose but only I could feel my heart racing in my chest. I pulled closer to him, placing a hand on his upper leg as I leaned closer to his face, his hand still on my chin.

He avoided my lips and kissed my cheek and then swiftly got to his feet. "I was hoping I could discuss something with you but seeing as if you are far from being sober I might as well wait till morning."

I took one of the cigarettes that were laying on the table and lit up. "I can handle it Sebastian, it's not like this is my first time."

He made a face at that, "I heard that we are getting a new headmaster soon."

"Yeah, so what?"

He smiled pouring himself a drink, "He has a daughter."

I feel a sudden chill, "Annette Hargrove." I hissed in disdain, "I heard she is a 'paradigm of chastity and virtue' who plans to save herself for marriage." I stand up, a mocking smile on my lips, "Don't tell me that's your next conquest?" I laugh, "A senior who is still a virgin, you can be certain that either she's a dyke or just pristine. Either way you have no hopes of ever getting some."

"Would you care to make a wager on that?"

"Well I have always admired your jaguar, and seeing as I am about to need a car soon."

He laughed, "No way."

"Are you so unsure of your own victory?"

"That's a 1956 Roadster, what would a little girl like you do with it?"

"Answer the question Sebastian. Are you doubtful of your skills?"

"No. I know that I can get her by the end of the year."

"Then why are you hesitate to bet your precious car?"

"And just what are you betting with?" He asked looking down at me.

I took a pull of my cigarette, meeting his gaze, "I can help you graduate with honors, get into any university that you want."

He threw his head back in laughter, " I'm a Valmont. I can get into any fucking university that I want, besides who the hell says that I even want to go that far."

I bit my lower lip in irritation, hating the next words, "What do you want?"

He smiled brilliantly, "Give this shit up." He gestured to the drugs. "I win and you give this up."

I knew that it bugged him that I got high but not enough to bet his precious car, but then again he had little to no chance of succeeding so what would be the harm?

I returned his grin, "You got yourself a bet."

* * *

I screamed, my whole body jerking in pain. Suddenly strong arms wrapped around me, soothing me as I woke from my nightmare. His arms tightened around me as he pulled me closer to him. I knew even before turning that it was Sebastian's strong arms that held me.

"It's just a dream?" He soothed.

I closed my eyes, was it or was that real and this a dream?"

I turned in his embrace. The room was dark but I could still make out his face, his eyes. My throat felt dry as I licked my lips to speak. "Are you real?"

My voice came out soft, weak. "Are you really here?" I placed a shaky hand on the side of his face, his eyes locked with mine.

I could feel his warm breath, his cheek felt soft, warm and alive. "Sebastian."

He placed his own hand over mine. "Yeah I'm really here."

"You died."

He let out a shaky breath, "No, no I didn't"

I searched his gaze desperate for answers and yet scared to know the truth. "Why?"

He pulled away, reaching for the light before getting off the bed, dressed in a pair of blue jeans and white shirt he looked like any regular teen, nothing like his former self.

I sat up in bed, realizing that I am still dressed in a hospital gown. "We fucked up Kathryn, somewhere down the road we screwed up." He turned to face me, "somewhere along our scheming you lost your heart and I gave mine up."

I felt a tightness in my chest grow.

"You became a heartless bitch and I fell in love with the only decent girl that would look past all my bullshit but despite the fact that she loved me, I could not get what you said out of my mind." He ran a hand through his unkempt curls. "Did you mean it?"

My hand began to shake as his gaze penetrated through me. "Answer me Kathryn. Did you mean what you said?"

I could feel my heart beat faster in my chest as I met his demanding gaze, "Tell me Kathryn, is it true or was it just another one of your games?"

I took a deep breath and replied, "Yes. It's true. I'm pregnant."

**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Special thanks to Vanessa, Caroline Spencer, Pot, Eashi Chand, Lady Rose Bernstein, Kayla, Laughing Elephants, and GottaLoveMEgan, for all your reviews, thanks for taking the time to let me know what your think of the story. Please stay and enjoy…**

**Chapter Five**

I watch as his blond curls bounce, his bright blue eyes shining with glee as be runs towards me. "Mommy" he cries out wrapping his arms around my neck. He places a kiss on my cheek as he grins at me showing his missing front teeth. I can't help the swell in my heart, the smile on my lips and the pure joy at having him in my arms. "I got this for you mommy." He grins lifting up a dandelion. "I love you mommy."

* * *

What is love? Is it the fake show of affection that we witness in shows or movies? If love is as easy as portrayed then the divorce rate would be minimal to none existent. No…I have discovered that there is no such thing as true love, no man or woman can love another person without there being motives behind that love. All love is a combination of selfish motives, whether it be money, pride, fear, loneliness or a combination of all in small amounts. No one ever just falls in love.

"Why didn't you get rid of it?" He asks, his eyes shifting to my growing stomach. I resist the urge to touch it, it felt like a foreign object. Why didn't I get rid of it, truth be told I still don't know why I chose to give up my life for this unborn embryo in me, not when it could have been so easy to get rid of it. My mother would have let me stay home and I would have continues with my life as if nothing happened…but.

I placed a hand lightly on the small swell on my stomach, my shirt already feeling tight. I lifted my gaze to meet his, "Why aren't you dead?"

He brakes eye contact and runs a hand through his hair, "I was dead." He replied standing up to pour himself a drink, "I died at that hospital for a total of five minutes my heart stopped beating and I was gone. The doctors were about to give up on me when my heart began to beat again and I regained consciousness." He took a deep gulp, "It all suddenly became clear to me, why the hell should I waste my life pretending to be someone I did not want to be? I mean what was so good about my life? I had a fucked up family, sure I had money but for what? So I could party my life away…and then it hit me. Annette."

He smiled as he sat back down, "Annette was the only pure, good thing in my life and I was not going to lose that but I knew that with my reputation, family and associates, we would not stand a chance at being truly happy together. Someone or something would always come between us."

I felt a sudden tightness in the pit of my stomach as I met his gaze. His eyes grew hard as he continued, "But I can't go to Annette until I know the truth." His eyes shifted to my stomach, "is it mine?"

I felt a smile grow on my lips, as my eyes hardened. "Go to your precious Annette, and relax I will not interfere in your sappy ending, because I don't fucking care what you two end up doing."

He sat motionless as he studies my face, trying to see any signs of deceit, "Is it mine?" He asks again his hands slightly shaking, as his eyes search mine.

I remain smiling as I stood to leave, "No, it's not yours."

He stands up letting out a deep breath, running hands down his face in clear relief, "Thank God."

I feel a tightness in me grow but I push it down and smile, stepping closer to him, the need to hurt him was overwhelming as I smile wickedly at him, a hand on my stomach, "Did you honestly think that I would have kept it if it was yours?"

Hs smile falters at that, "I would have got rid of it in a blink of an eye had it been yours." I continue enjoying the flinch in his gaze, "Is that why you brought me here Sebastian, to clear your conscious? Well rest assure that I wouldn't have ruined my life for something that belonged to you, even if you were dead, I would have got rid of it."

I watched as his mouth tightened and his eyes fill with rage, "Believe me sweetheart, no one is more pleased then me" He shook his head, "feel free to remain here as long as you want, your mother doesn't know that you're missing from the institution and I have paid them more than enough to keep it that way." My heart begins to race as he walks towards the door. "Take care Kathryn, for what it's worth, I do hope that you find happiness."

* * *

It started with a kiss. The music was pumping as I pulled him closer to me, my lips tightly sealed against his, his hands running down my side , gripping my hips as I pushed myself closer to him. I closed my eyes, running my hand through his curls, my heart pounding in my chest.

He groaned into the kiss, as he pushed me against the wall, my legs automatically wrapped around his waist, I could feel him strained against his pants as he pushed himself against my centre. I pulled back from the kiss to let out a moan, his lips finding my exposed neck.

Shit I had to stop this before it got out of hand. I placed my legs down, trying to find my balance on shaky legs. He kept placing heated kisses on my neck, I lightly pushed against his chest, forcing him to look up at me, his eyes lost in passion. I smirk at his pouting lips. "Shouldn't you be seducing a certain blond?"

Groaning he places his forehead against mine, "Did you have to bring her up?"

I smile at that, "are you declaring defeat?"

"Never." With a final peck he walked through the crowd and out the door.

"Did my eyes deceive me or did I see you make out with Sebastian Valmont?"

I turn to face my intruder, dressed in a grey tee and washed out jeans he stood looking like a teen from a cover of a Gap ad. Let out an annoyed groan, I walked past him, not even wasting a minute with college boy.

Stepping forward he blocked my path, his clear blue eyes locking with mine. "Look, be careful, he may be good looking but he is an asshole who mistreats girls and trashes their reputation," Placing a hand on my shoulder he leaned in closer, "Believe me you don't want to get involved with him."

I tilted my head to the side, my eyes taking in his strong jaw, full lips, but it was his eyes that intrigues me. A softness in them that made me hold back the insults that were on the tip of my tongue. "Thanks I'll keep that in mind." I reply with a fake smile on my lips. Stepping closer I take in his broad shoulders, lean body and firm chest, even if it was covered with a shirt, his figure was hard to ignore. "And you are?"

He let out a shy smile as he pulled his hand back to run it through his hair. "Liam"

"How do you know Sebastian?"

He leaned down to better hear my question and again I was intrigued by his striking blue gaze, full lips. He smiled, a true genuine smile as he looked bashful at our proximity, "we grew up together. He's my cousin."

I raised an eyebrow at that. Sebastian clearly forgot to mention that, not like we have ever sat down to talk about our families but having a cousin who rivals one in looks should have at least been mentioned once. Then again who to say that Sebastian even felt remotely threatened by his cousin? With a wicked idea forming in my mind I locked my arm with his and lead him towards the bar, "Treat me to a drink Liam."

He grinned down at me, even in my six inch stilettos he was still a foot taller than me. "My pleasure."

* * *

"You did what!" Blaine yelled forcing me to pull the phone away from my ear.

"Not helping!" I hiss, holding my pounding head. "Look just keep this between us ok."

"Fuck, fuck, how could you have done it ….with him?"

Rolling my eyes I leaned back against the couch. "It just happened, one minute I was drinking, the next we were dancing, then we were fucking. I don't even remember how it happened, it's all a blur, all I remember is pain then I blanked out."

"Shit! Sebastian is going to lose it if he ever finds out."

"He won't find out."

"You fucked his cousin, how will that not come out?"

I groan as I feel a sudden headache coming on. "He probably won't even remember, I woke first and left before he regained conscious."

Blaine let out a loud sarcastic laugh, "Trust me sweetheart, this is going to bite you in the ass'' letting out a chuckle he continued, "You just had to go and lose you v-card to a Valmont."

Letting out a groan I tossed my cell across the room. I knew that I had screwed up, not only had I lost control of the situation but I had also violated Sebastian's trust, in a way. I closed my eyes, how was I going to prevent this from leaking out?

A sudden dread filled me as I pictured Sebastian's reaction. What had I done?

* * *

I placed a kiss on his chubby cheek, his little mouth slightly open as he let a deep breath. Pulling the sheet up his small frame, I stepped back and gazed down at his sleeping form. Running a hand through his soft curls I smiled, "Sweat dreams love." I whisper, as I stood up, my gaze never leaving his peaceful figure.

"He's finally asleep?" he whispers near my ear as he places gentle kisses on the side of my neck, strong arms surround my waist as he pulls me closer to his firm frame, I tilt my head slightly to the side to expose my neck more to his soft lips.

I close my eyes, taking in the feeling of his kisses, his arms, and body against my back. Turning in his hold I raise my gaze to meet his stunning blue, I let out a smile as I reach up and meet his lips, allowing him to pull my body up onto his.

He sets me back down and leads me out of the nursery, but not before pausing one last time to look lovingly back at the sleeping form of his son. It was in these moments that I knew that I had everything in life, my husband and my son.

"Well Mrs. Valmont, any requests tonight?" He asks with a wicked smile forming on his lips.

"Just you."

* * *

It had started out as a secret. I had remained seeing Liam, I hadn't meant to but whenever I was with him I felt different. His smiles were genuine, his words truthful, and even his eyes, although the same shade of blue as Sebastian held a deep gentleness in them, a warmth.

I had yet to tell Sebastian and honestly he had been preoccupied with Annette, for me to even begin that conversation. Liam was not one to flaunt his relationships publicly so we remained private about our sexual encounters. If there was one thing I was certain of, it was that he sure knew how to please a lady, the boy may be shy but once in bed he became anything but shy.

I moaned as he pumped into me, holding my legs against my chest as he thrusts into me, his eyes locked with mine, as I pinched my nipples, desperate to feel that rush. He releases my legs and leans over me, his soft lips taking in one of my breasts into his mouth, as his other hand finds the spot between my folds, as he gives one last pump into me, making my walls crumble down in ecstasy.

With a final thrust he groans and releases inside me. He pulls out and lays to the side, his breath uneven as he closes his eyes. He lets out a smile as he places a kiss on my forehead, his eyes locking with mine. "Have dinner with me."

I raise an eyebrow at that, "it's a little late for dinner," I reply sitting up, gathering the sheet around my exposed body.

"Not today." He replies sitting up, "I mean tomorrow night, I will come pick you up and we'll go have dinner, have a nice meal, maybe take a stroll through the park after, or maybe see a movie"

I frown at his request, "You mean like a date?"

He smiles, his dimples showing. "Exactly. Just you and me."

I bite the inside of my cheek, so far we had avoided any public outings, our relationship has been based on me showing up at his apartment or hotel and fucking, plain and simple. A date? When have I ever just gone out just to talk with a guy, besides the fact that I was unfamiliar with the terms let alone the expectations of being on a date "I don't date." I reply getting off the bed to retrieve my discarded dress.

"What about that Court guy?"

"That's different, I have to date him for school purpose, and we aren't exactly excusive."

"I'm not asking you to go steady with me, just to have a fun night out away from this room, or any room."

"What about Sebastian?" I ask.

"What about Valmont?"

I sit back down on the edge of the bed, "I haven't told him about us. I mean…is there even an 'us'? I mean we're just screwing around, this is nothing serious. Right."

He walked towards me, kneels beside me. "Look Kathryn, I know that you are younger, but we have been together for a while now and I like spending time with you. I want to know you more,"

As I gazed at his kind eyes, his smile, I can't help but wonder if this was what I had been searching for…was this love? Or at least the beginning of what could be love? "Ok, let's go out."

As he lets out a big grin he swoops me up in his arms, his laugh vibrating through our jointed bodies, and I wonder, what the fuck had I got myself into?

* * *

Sebastian had been avoiding me lately, I had yet to know how his progress with Annette was coming along. It was unnerving to think that he had been silent for this long. It was so unlike him.

Not that I had been waiting by the phone for his call but still I felt that something was off. Strolling into my room I tossed my purse onto the bed, stopping in my tracks as a groan greeted it. "Hey watch where you throw things,"

Crossing the room I was greeted with a dishevelled looking Sebastian trying to sit up on my bed, suit all wrinkled, shoes off, curls sticking up in random places, eyes blood shot red. "Hey duchess"

It was unnerving how the same pair of blue eyes held me captive but for different reasons, out of the two Sebastian still held something in his gaze that made me feel weak. I hated him for making me feel vulnerable. Crossing my arms over my chest I kicked one of his shoes. "What the hell are you doing in my room, soiling my bed?"

He grinned at that, "Your bed isn't soiled yet." Gazing at my figure he smirked, "but it could be."

I smirk back, "Not going to happen. Now mind explaining why you're taking a nap on my bed?'

"I came to share and celebrate my victory."

My heart stopped, "You succeeded?"

His smile grew as he stood up, half empty wine bottle in his hand, "Annette Hargrove is now officially de-flowered."

I frown at his sour expression but brush it aside "congratulations"

"And as part of my victory celebration, I took the liberty to get rid of some of your merchandise."

"What!" I ran to the secret stash behind my vanity mirror only to find it empty. Most likely flushed down the drain. "Fuck Sabastian, do you have any idea how much that was worth?

"Relax sweetheart cause you won't be need it anymore."

"You don't expect me to actually follow through with our bet do you?"

"I most certainly do, a deal is a deal, and I won fair and square,"

Rolling my eyes as I pushed past him and began to strip off my dress and heels. Climbing into the bed, suddenly wanting nothing else but to sleep. "Turn off the lights on your way out. Won't you." I ordered snuggling into my pillow.

I waited to hear my door click closed as the room was engulfed by darkness but instead I felt a dip on the side of the bed as he stepped off his shirt and pants. I give a groan of disapproval as I shifted and gave my back to him as he settled in beside me his arms passively wrap themselves around my waist. I ignore the soft kisses he places on my exposed neck, his arousal pressed tightly against my back.

It was not the first time that we did this and I knew all too well that soon he would be snoring. "Did you really sleep with her?" I asked curiously.

"Mm" was his reply, his hand stoking my side.

"How will you broadcast this new accomplishment?"

He pulls me tighter to him, his face buried in my hair, "I don't know."

I frown at that, shifting to turn and face him. His eyes were closed, but even in the dark I could tell that something was wrong. "What?"

He groans in annoyance and untangled his arms away from me and shift to his back, staring up at the dark ceiling. "I don't want to talk about it." He replied sternly.

I settled down my body facing him, we remain silent for a while, my eyes tracing the outline of his face, trying to determine how to approach him, Sebastian could be hard to read at times, but he never closed off to me. Something was different.

"Promise me that you will give up this shit." He suddenly said, his voice hard.

I remain silent. It felt as if he was asking me to give up more than just drugs, I felt a sudden dread in me. He shifted turning his eyes on me. "Promise me that you will give up fucking with people's lives. That you will try to be good from now on. Tell me that you can change your ways."

I hold his gaze, my eyes searching for something, some recognition of the boy that had been my partner in crime ever since we were little. "I can't make that promise." I replied even detesting the idea of giving up my scheming, my games, how could I? My whole existence depended on these games we played.

He takes a deep breath, "If you truly loved someone, change comes natural, change is possible. Isn't it?"

He didn't wait for my reply, I didn't know how to reply, why the hell did he even contemplate change? He rolls onto his side, his arms gathering me closer to him, his forehead pressed against mine. Soon his breathing evens out and he sleeps.

I remain still in his embrace. My last thoughts before sleep over took me was of Annette Hargrove.

* * *

I wake first taking in his peaceful expression, his curls a mess, his mouth partly open letting out even breaths. I smile at his innocent expression, little did it show what a devil he was when awake.

I frown as I realize that I am trapped under his vase grip around my waist, as one of his legs had nestled in between mine, make it awkward not to feel aroused at the pressure of his knee against me. I run my hand through his curls trying to shift him off, only to have him pull me closer. I groan as he knee pushes up in between mine. He lets out a smile as I hold back a moan and I know that he's awake. Pushing his arm off I sit up, ignoring his protest. With both hands free I push his leg off and slip out of the bed.

"Where are you going? I was just beginning to have fun."

"By all means keep going", I rely slipping on my robe.

"You're no fun"

I smirk at his pouting lips, feeling as if last night's conversation didn't even occur, then again he probably was too wasted to remember. "By the way I forgot to mention that I met your cousin Liam." I casually say, avoiding his eyes.

"The hell you say, where did you meet him?"

I casually shrugged my shoulders taking a seat on the chair in front of my vanity table, "one of Blaine's parties."

Stepping off the bed he frowned, "what the hell was he doing at Blaine's, he's too much of a boy scout to be seen there."

Narrowing his eyes he stepped up behind me. Gazing at me through the mirror, "what did he say to you, or better yet what did you do with him?"

I smiled at him, my gaze locked on his reflection, "I had a little fun with him. The boy has skills."

He scrawled," he's not what he appears Kathryn, stay away from him, alright."

I turn to face him," is that an order?"

He frowned down at me, "It's a warning. Just stay away from him."

I hardened my gaze, standing up, "if I don't?"

He opened his mouth to reply when a knock on the door interrupted us." What!" We both yell.

"Your mother wishes to see you." The maid shakily replied

"We will discuss this later." I hiss.

He takes hold of my arm, his face firm, "there is nothing to discuss just do as I say." With a peck on the cheek he walked out.

I stepped in the parlour expecting my mother to immediately begin to hound me on my latest projects instead she remains seated calmly sipping her tea. I wait, fully aware that she has something up her sleeve. Finally once all the maids have cleared the room, she turns her hard gaze to me." I have filed for divorce."

I remain silent as I process the information. Was I too pity her, congratulate her or remain indifferent, I chose the safe route indifferent. Lucky she didn't expect a reply or reaction from me.

"Was that Sebastian that I saw stepping out of your room this morning?" My mother knew that he sometimes crashed the night at our place but never once did she acknowledge it

I remain silent.

"I think it time that you knew that I have been having an affair with Edward ever since your father passed away."

I tried to hide the sudden nauseous feeling

"And I have fallen in love with him", she smiled, "in fact I'm engaged to him"

I feel a wave of disgust hit me ten folds.

"We are to marry as soon as the divorces are finalized."

"He's leaving his wife?" I gasp my stomach tying into a not

My mother's smile grew, "that's right, he finally decided to leave the old hag."

I feel bile rise in my throat, "which brings us to a very important matter."

I took an even breath trying to settle my nerves," you haven't fucked Sebastian, have you?"

I realize where this was going, I shake my head no, not trusting my voice yet. Sebastian was bound to be furious about this.

"Good", she lets out a deep breath, "from now on he is prohibited from spending the night here. Am I understood Kathryn?"

I slowly nod my head. "As for his cousin, now he is more than welcome to come anytime that he wants," I snap my head up in surprise, my mother chuckles at my response, "come now Kathryn surely you didn't think I didn't know that have been screwing around with him. I think that he would be good for you. I have been asking Edward about him, and it turns out that he comes from two very respectable parents, not to mention that he well on his way of taking over the Valmont estates."

"What about Sebastian?" I ask trying to hide my emotions but one look into my mother's hard gaze lets me know that she sees my concern for him.

"The boy is a good for nothing, he's dug his own bed. His father was planning to cut him off anyways as soon as he graduated."

I take a deep breath, "But…"

"I suppose he will go and live with his mother, but mark my words Kathryn, if I hear that you are involved with him, I won't hesitate to cut you off." With a smile on her face she takes a seat beside me. Her hand brushing my hair back over my shoulder. "Choose your friends wisely dear, Sebastian was a good playmate but you're all grown now, it's time to move on. Now tell me how things are progressing with Liam."

I met her gaze, my sudden pull in my gut, "We're not official."

She smiled sweetly, "Make it happen then." She caresses my cheek, "Do what it takes."

-TO BE CONTINUED.

**Let me know what you think of Liam, I have two character profiles for him, not sure which route I will take, either he will be all goodness like Annette or he will have a wicked side to him that will surprise everyone. Taking requests here on which role you prefer. Like always, please read and review.**

**xoxo**


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